At the end of last year, I was deteriorating quickly.Continue reading
In high school, my literature class was assigned to read One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.Continue reading
Psychosis is believing my worst thoughts, my own interior monologue taking on a life of its own, physical sensations that don’t line up with reality, fears bigger than the moon, and logic that is completely inexplicable to anyone else.Continue reading
Quitting smoking is hard. It says so right in the nicotine replacement therapy packages I kept buying at CVS for two years straight so I wouldn’t have to go without my nic fix at work. I’ve switched to a vape, and tonight I ran out of my 3mg e-liquid, so I headed to the vape store to replace it with a 0mg liquid. I’ll hang onto the placebo effect for as long as I can.Continue reading
This morning, I woke to find the words “KILL ME” and “RAPE MEAT” written in Sharpie on my chest.Continue reading
When I started this blog, I was in residential treatment getting help for my eating disorder for the second time. I wanted a way to mass-blast my close friends and family back home with updates on how I was doing and what I was learning in treatment. I wrapped every essay up in a little bow and proclaimed that I was growing stronger every day, as if recovery from an eating disorder (or any mental illness) is a linear path through a Zen garden which one walks down while therapists chuck coping skills like rose petals at your feet.