How Do I Know I’m Happy?

Recently, I found a bunch of my old CDs from high school. I’m talking A Day to Remember, Pierce the Veil, and Volbeat. I saw the first two in concert when I was in high school. During my junior year, I was friends with a large group of senior girls who were all obsessed with pop-punk music. We all went to concerts together every few months, and it was one of the most fun, carefree times of my life. I even wrote my Common App essay about how I learned body acceptance in a mosh pit.

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Highs and Lows

Overall, things are good. Really, really good.

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The First Good Day

I’ve been feeling really, really depressed. I haven’t had the motivation to do much, and it’s been hard to leave the house.

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Better Days Ahead

I have been so depressed lately, but I’m finally feeling a bit better. It helps to set one small goal each day so I at least have the illusion of being productive. Yesterday I cleaned one of my fish tanks. I’m sure the fish really appreciated it.

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Med Management

I’ve been on Clozapine for about a week, going up on the dosage as my doctor had instructed, when things took a for the worse. I started running a fever, my body ached, I had chills, and I wasn’t making sense. When my mom woke me up this morning, I had a temperature of 104, and irately told her, “Avocados!” when she asked me if I knew where I was.

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Medication, Monsters, and Myths

I see my therapist every Wednesday morning and this week we decided we’d step down to biweekly visits. I’m a little nervous about this, but I think it will be for the best.

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